Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bill.